Musetta (beaten_chairs) wrote,
Musetta
beaten_chairs

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i can be anything you would like

gaaaaah.

grrr.

fuck.

hate this hate this hate this.

i really hate to be the type of girl who waits by the phone, but i have such an addictive personality that once i get on something, i focus only on that.

so this guy asked for my number/asked me out yesterday. i had a meeting at work yesterday and afterwards i got in line to check out this movie and i saw this guy who comes into the store occasionally and is always teasing me and smiling and just being friendly. and he's very cute. and i start to see him less and less. well, he was standing in front of the blu-ray kiosk near the line and I pretended not to see him because i hate being the first to notice the other person and he saw me and said hi. i didn't think he would recognize me because i'm usually in uniform but he did and i happened to look cute. we talked for a little bit. he mentioned his son that he was with and didn't know about for 2 months and i commented, how interesting, you should tell me that story some time. and he said, how about lunch? and i was like, okay. like totally casually. then he asked for my number. and in my head i screamed, I KNEW IT! i knew he wasn't just being friendly all those other times. it's hard to tell with these customers sometimes. anyway, so i told him that i was off at 5 today and he hasn't called.

so i'm kind of freaking out. i know i shouldn't be. it's ridiculous. but i can't help it. the day before i was thinking of drowning myself. and after this happened, i was so ecstatic. such an ego boost. and i feel like i'm on a high. i haven't been in this good of a mood since.. well like a year. or two.

i felt awkward saying goodbye and it's kind of a blur. i have no idea what i said. or what he said. i mean he didn't say he was gonna call, he just asked me what i was doing tomorrow. which i take it to be that he's going to call me to do something. i hope nothing happened. i hope nothing came up and now he's like horribly busy. i hope he doesn't pull the wait 3 days crap. i hope he didn't lose my number. i hope he didn't write the number down wrong. i hope I didn't give him the wrong number. i was kind of distracted because lynette was asking for help at the same time i was giving him the number. i was so excited when i got off work.

i hate this. i hate being like this. i can't last 3 days. i can't even go a day without checking my email. i'm going to be doing that very ridiculous thing where you carry your phone with you everywhere you go, even if it's the next room. and checking to make sure the phone works. and i kind of wanted to do something tonight and get out of the house. i don't know when i should eat dinner because what if he calls to go eat or something. and i kind of wanted to go to the park in a little bit. bleh.

see. this is why i hate this. i don't get asked out often so when i do, it's like a huge deal. and i've never been on a traditional date like this. like the whole asking for the number and going out ordeal. well except for one guy. all of the other guys i've been with i either knew them as a friend before dating or on the internet. which doesn't count in my book.

fuck this. i just need to forget about him or get in the mindset that he won't call and then maybe he'll call when i'm not expecting.
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