Musetta (beaten_chairs) wrote,
Musetta
beaten_chairs

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My nose bleeds when i get an erection.

ok so as promised, an update of what happened in the last few months. Including what happened to that guy who asked me out at work. A very brief summary. so it was friday and i thought, maybe he'll call on the weekend because he's busy during the week. but by the end of the night he hadn't called and i was at a bar. so i drank. and thought, fuck him. and then the very next day he came up to work. yeeah. so we went out. found out some interesting things. like he got two women pregnant at the same time. so his two sons are 2 months apart. and that he was moving to new mexico next week to get custody of his other son.

yeah.

so that whole week that he didn't call, we could have been hanging out before he incidentally happen to be moving. i met his dad on the 2nd date. then i met his mom on the 3rd date. we watched casablanca. we had sex. it was awesome. but not sexy awesome, i want you so bad sex. it was like interesting, i've never done that position sex. so it was good discovery sex and totally opened my eyes and how inexperienced i am.

then he left. with an invite to come to new mexico for a visit.

so ends the luke chapter.

and begins the ian chapter.

so i met ian on okc. he is from austin. he actually came to houston to meet me, which i was surprised that someone would come all that way to see me. and the first date was mind blowingly awesome. we got long so well. i instantly felt comfortable with him. there was a great ease. no awkwardness. we could sit in silence and be perfectly happy just being in each other's presence and not have to fill silence with awkward words. we cuddled on the couch. he watched dancing with the stars with me. we had a lot in common. including the fact that we both like to dip things in any kind of sauce or broth or whatever. he was sooo funny. he really could make me laugh. we made out in his car during the rain and romantic music via jimmy eat world was playing. it was so sexy and romantic. everything fell into place. both my parents were out of town, i wasn't pmsing, i was off the whole week, he was off the whole week. like nothing happened to sabotage the date. he makes me so hot. yes, we had sex. how slutty am i. but it was totally not planned. we both didn't think it would get that far so it totally exceeded our expectations. we both get reminding each other no expectations. and he's sooo cute. blue blue eyes. short. good kisser. not a good romantic kisser, which is weird. he's a great makeout kisser and a good random, on the lips kisser. but when he tries to do a slow, romantic kiss, he loses something.

a few weeks later, i go up to austin to visit him. for some really weird reason, the second date wasn't nearly as fun as the first. he wasn't as funny and it was kind of blah. i still had a good time though. it just didn't feel the same. he brought me to some romantic spots and took me joyriding. i love that he drives stick. omg we played halo. it was awesome. i mean i really sucked and i killed him only 2, 3 times, but i still love playing. coffee kisses. lots of good awesome sex. i love that he's interested in all cultures and likes to explore them. he has dated so many different girls. persian, ethiopian, and not 1, but 2 lesbians. 2 lesbians! i joked that he had magical powers to get 2 lesbians curious enough to go straight temporarily. his friends say the same thing.

so the problems with ian... well, the distance. but it's only a 2 hr drive so it's not so bad. it makes casual dating easy, but not a relationship. he brings out all my insecurities for some reason. it really fucks me up. like i get intimidated sometimes by all the different women he's dated and some of them are so gorgeous. some are just average looking. and also his sexual experience. i like that he's more experienced than me and i dislike it at the same time. he's also one of those guys who is always in a relationship. he falls hard and fast. so he's trying this new thing where he's trying to remain single and date around, which i totally get and understand. i was all with the casual dating. but now, being with him, makes me want to be in a relationship. and i have no idea how he feels about me. sometimes he treats me like a friend and then sometimes he's all flirty and crap. i figured that maybe he's less inclined to keep seeing me because of the distance but then last night he was all, i wanna see you again soon. so i was like yay! because i was starting to get scared that we were getting into a friend zone.

also he had a date last night and it was horrible. ha! score one for me!

and now there's jonathan.

i know it sounds like i'm on a roll, but this is very uncharacteristic of me. i know you're blocking it out right now but i know some of you remember those 4 excruciating years of me complaining about being single and being depressed all the time. and really i got lucky with ian, because i actually met him online like 2 years ago and then he got off the site and deleted his profile. then he got back on and happened to remember me.

anyway, okay so jonathan. we traded very, very long emails for a little bit. usually with other people, the emails get shorter and shorter and you run out of things to say. so i love that we're able to write these prolific emails to each other. so we finally met for dim sum this past sunday. i debated meeting him because i wasn't sure we would get along because our backgrounds are so different. and plus, he's 39, which kind of intimidated me. but i went with it. and again, another great date. not as good as the ian date or the eric date, but it was still a pretty good date. again, i felt very comfortable with him. there were a couple of times where i got nervous and awkward and rambled or drank tea to fill the space. he's a very young 39. and so much cuter in person! the pictures do not do him justice. he looks much older in his pictures. and surprisingly hilarious! which doesn't come across in his emails but i think it's because the topics we talk about somehow don't allow him to express humor. and it's his personality and tone of voice and facial expressions that make him funny. and he's fucking rich! eric likes jonathan better and thinks he's better suited to me but i think that's only because jonathan is a scientist. so if we started dating, eric would want to meet him only to talk about science stuff with him.

so problems with jonathan... well first thing, i don't like his name much. i mean it's a minor thing and doesn't really matter but just thought i'd list all the little problems. i had trouble reading him. i couldn't tell if he liked me or was interested in me. were we meeting as friends or a date? is he attracted to me? i haven't really talked to him since then. i emailed him right after to thank him for lunch, but that's about it. i get kind of a friend vibe from him. well overall. and the way he said we should hang out again. and in our previous emails, we talk about relationships and people we're seeing in a friend way. as if i'm talking to one of my girl friends. and opposite from ian, jonathan is looking for a serious relationship and to settle down and all that. which i have no problem with. i'm a lot younger than him but i'm open to the idea of possibly settling down within the next couple of years. i don't know. it's too early to tell. we've had one date. i don't know if he'll actually call or if he doesn't, should i email him? i just hate calling people.

so that's my love life.

as for work. oy. i have to work 6 days next week. it is the YUCK! i took a second job subbing. but there's only one month of school left so i'll only have to deal with it for a month. plus, i need the distraction. after these boys, i think i'm going to just forget about boys and become a lesbian. they seem to have more fun.
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  • 1 comment
You should try more with guys, no relationship is perfect and if it is then it never lasts so... becoming a lesbian won't guarantee your happiness so you should continue enjoying your relationships with men.
Bothwill, Cialis guy